


I remember you

by Antisafic



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Family Feels, Gen, Modern, Reincarnation, Stuff and Fluff, fluffly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:54:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antisafic/pseuds/Antisafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a companion piece to "Do you remember me?" from Kili's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I remember you

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from Syxx!!!

The first thing Kili sees is blood, lots of blood. It clouded his eyes and flooded the ground. He couldn’t feel the pain anymore. The pain had started the moment the battle began. He tried to keep Fili and his uncle in sight, making sure they were alive. His uncle was fighting off a Goblin and Kili had just enough wits about him to catch an archer raising his bow, ready to bring the King Under the Mountain down.

Kili moved before he thought. He knew already that the arrow was going to let loose even if he did shoot the archer now. So he jumped in front of his uncle.

Pain: white-hot, burning pain. The arrow had struck and Kili didn’t know where. The next moment he was on the ground face first and couldn’t move his arms or legs. It gave him relief from the pain but Kili knew that wasn’t something to be happy about.

Fili was beside him in an instant.  His hands were all over Kili’s back and sides. Kili felt more than saw Fili gasp. Then he couldn’t feel anything anymore. Fili was calling his name but it sounded distant as Fili turned him onto his side, moving to cup his face.

Kili saw the arrows out of his brother's back and the blood that trickled down his mouth into the red stained fur of his coat and armor. They weren’t going to make it. After everything, they were going to die here at the foot of their quest.

“Fee, I-I don’t want to die.”

Fili’s lips gave a small tug. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here,” he said, leaning close to tap their foreheads together. “Just close your eyes Kee. I’m right here.”

“We never got to say sorry to Bilbo did we?” Kili coughed. He snapped his eyes shut now. Fili held his brother's head tighter to him as he made shushing noises. “Fili. We need to find Bilbo. Tell him we’re….”

Kili, the last son of Durin the Deathless, knew no more.

o-o 

He would never tell anyone, but the first thing Kyle ever remembered wasn’t from his youth. It was grass under his toes, mountains as far as the eye could see and the smell of forges at rest in the dark of the night. On late nights when he couldn’t sleep he could feel the ghost of an arrow fletching fly past his face, just barely catching his cheek.

He didn’t pay any mind to those passing ghost feelings. They never bothered him, growing up he thought that it was the most normal thing in the world. Every child had ghost feelings. He was no different. When he was ten he requested to learn archery. His parents didn’t mind, they had long ago come to terms with Kyle’s obsession with fantasy lore and medieval paraphernalia. They thought it was normal.

Oh how they were wrong.

Kyle was thirteen when it happened on a late October evening. The whole street was quiet until a large moving van appeared. Kyle was outside playing ball by himself when he stopped to watch in awe as the house across from his was finally sold after a year of being vacant.

He crept closer looking out across the street.  His heart stopped the moment the door to the black Jeep Cherokee opened. The tallest man Kyle had ever seen stepped out. He had black short hair and a clean cut beard adorned his face. Kyle paid only a little attention to this though. He knew this man. He knew him as if he had his whole life. Tears sprang to his eyes, flowing down his cheeks.

The man turned to look at him and his eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth and closed it again. He looked into the car and spoke with the figure inside.

Kyle watched as he closed the door and walked towards him, quickly wiping his wet eyes on his sleeve.

“Um...hi,” Kyle said with a little wave, shoving his basketball under his arm. "I’m-"

“Kili?” the man asked.

Kyle stopped and looked at the man with owlish eyes. Everything at that moment seemed to freeze. He remembered everything from his mother in Ered Luin to the Battle of the Five Armies. It was as if his whole life up until now on this street was a dream; a fleeting passing of thoughts that his mind had made up to cover the darkness of his death. The strange void he’s always assumed was the imbalance of being young suddenly began to warm and fill.

When he was clear-headed enough to see the street again he looked up to his Uncle Thorin.

“Uncle," Kili said looking up.

He was rewarded with the biggest of grins as Thorin pulled Kili into a hug.

“It is good to see you!” Thorin said, his voice muffled by Kili’s hair.

“Do you know where Fili is?”

Thorin tensed in his arms and drew away. “I do know where your brother is,” Thorin said slowly while stepping back. At that moment the figure got out of the car.

Kili grinned wide: it was Bofur, recognizable even with his hair shorter and without his hat.

“He does not remember, nor does your brother,” Thorin said quickly, and Kili had only just enough time to process this before Bofur walked over extending his hand, big smile and charm only Bofur would naturally have.

“Hello, name's Bobby,” he greeted. Kili put on the happiest face he could, but nonetheless took his hand and shook it. Not-Bofur had a deep Scottish accent and Kili found it suited him.

“Kil-Kyle,” he said catching himself quickly.

“Kilkyle, odd name. But who am I to judge?” Bobby said shrugging. 

“It’s Kyle, but my family and friends calls me Kili,” Kili added.

“I see, well it’s nice to meet ya. I see you already met Thor, I’m helpin’ him move in an' what not,” Bobby grinned and lightly hit Thorin on the shoulder. “Speaking of, we best get goin', I have to get home to Philip ‘fore practice.”

As Not-Bofur walked away Kili gave Thorin an inquisitive look and Thorin nodded to him. “It’s Fili, but until Bofur remembers it’s best we not push them. Your brother has gone through a lot."

Kili nodded back, unaware just how long that would mean.

o-o

Thorin and Kili reluctantly agreed that the two brothers shouldn’t meet until Fili remembered, but as time wore on Kili began to get anxious that Fili would never remember. Of course they didn’t stay far apart. Thorin/Thor often had Bobby and Philip over, but Kili tried to make himself scarce during these visits.

They had gone to the same high school. Philip was Kili's senior by three years and Kili had only enough courage to get close to him, but his mind would flitter with “what if’s” and he lost his courage. Seeing Fili but seeing him not knowing who he was broke Kili’s heart.

“ _I’m right here._ ”

That had been the last promise Fili had ever made. Who knew it would be the first thing he broke?

When Kili’s family planned to move away after he finished high school, Kili moved in with Thorin after graduation. Thorin had quickly become great friends with Kili’s parents when Kili had protested that he wanted to go to the university there. They made a deal with Thorin that Kili could room there so long as he was helpful.

It also meant more time to watch Fili. To be there, if he ever remembered.

It was in his senior year in high school. He was taking the university tour provided by the school and at lunch they were allowed to roam the campus. He was walking past the large gym when he caught Fili striding down towards the parking lot.

Taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and yelled, “Fee!”

Fili turned to look at him and for a moment Kili thought he’d actually remembered. Fili-no, Philip looked at him and walked over.

“You need something?”

Kili stood at a loss. He shifted his weight back and forth from the balls of his feet.

“Sorry! I just - you looked like someone I’m looking for,” he blurted out. It wasn’t the best excuse he’d come up with. He chewed on his bottom lip and looked down at his shoes.

“Oh,” Philip said suddenly sounding uncomfortable. “My fos-dad calls me Fee, too. Who are you loo--?”

Kili snapped his head to look at Fili’s eyes. “Your dad calls you Fee!”

Philip rolled his eyes. “Yeah. My name's Philip,” he said offering his hand.

Kili took a deep breath and put on the best smile he could. He was shivering as he took the hand, shaking it slowly, not wanting to part. It was the first connection they’d ever had.

“But my friends call me Fee. Or Fili,” he said shrugging like it was a simple nickname.

Kili’s whole body tensed. “Fili -- it suits you,” he said quietly.

“You think so?” Philip asked.

 _“Of course I do. You're my brother, you’re Fili and I’m Kili. Why_ _can’t you see that?”_ he wanted to shout. Instead he shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, well…..I should probably let you go,” Kili continued, wincing at his own words. 

Philip stood there and shifted his weight. “I guess. Well I hope you find whoever you’re looking for,” he said, hitching his bag further up his shoulder. He turned around, blond hair pulled up into a ponytail and Kili had to stop himself from crying when he saw the two braids braided in on both sides. “Oh,” Philip said turning back around. “I didn’t catch your name,” he said slightly tilting his head.

“Kili,” he said smiling.

Philip’s small smile disappeared. He narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be fighting an internal battle. His mouth opened, sighed, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he was looking pointedly at Kili.

“So it wasn’t a dream,” he muttered so quietly Kili wasn't sure he had heard him.

“What?” Kili asked.

“I’m who you’re looking for, right? Your brother,” Philip said walking back to Kili.

Kili’s whole body tensed. “How did you know? How long?” he said stepping back.

“I used to have these weird dreams of another time; with war and so much death, but also of a family I never had. I used to think it was just me making things up to help me sleep at night. But when I first saw you, you looked so much like the brother from my dreams. I just chalked it up to being coincidental. But they’re not, are they?”

Kili took a step back. “Do you? Do you remember?”

Fili’s mouth hardened into a straight line. “I remember dreams. I think I know people when I don’t. My foster dad -- he’s in them. So is Thor, and you. You’re all there and I don’t know why. They’re just dreams.”

Kili took a step back forward and hesitantly put a hand on Philip’s shoulder. “I don’t think they are. Your foster dad, does he have a nickname?”

Philip gave a dry chuckle. “Yes actually, Bo-“

“Bofur?” Kili supplied.

Philip looked back at him. “How did you know?”

“They’re not dreams. They’re of a past life; you, me, Uncle Thorin, and Bofur,” Kili stated.

Philip took a step back. “I’d call you crazy if it didn’t all make sense.”

Kili laughed a bit. “Do you remember Bilbo?”

Philip nodded and looked down at the ground. “I do actually. You know I think I saw him once.”

“You did?! Where?” Kili asked.

“Don’t remember, it was some huge function. He was a reporter I think. Anyway, look I should go.”

Kili wanted to yell 'no' and stop him, but he knew that Phil-Fili needed his space. Thorin had briefly told Kili his brother's story and Kili didn’t want to push him. Not when he was this close to remembering. Yet another part of his mind told him he needed to keep Fili close, to remind him that he was part of a family.

“Oh,” was all he could manage.

“You’re staying with Thor–Thorin right?” Fili asked.

“Yeah,” Kili said trying his best to smile.

“Well,” Fili started. He sighed and looked toward the parking lot. “Look I don’t understand this. But I know that you’re my brother, somehow, some way, and it seems I have been neglecting my job of being a brother,” he added chuckling. “So if that is so, Thor knows where to find me. Dad’s been having some weird dreams, too. He keeps looking for people when we’re in a crowd and he won’t tell me who. So if you are right then it seems we all need to have a long talk,” he finished.

Kili stood there stunned in utter shock.  Fili gave a half smile before walking away again towards the parking lot.

As soon as he was out of sight, Kili fell to the ground. He couldn’t keep himself standing and he was taking deep breaths. So many years of "what if's" and late nights of lost sleep, and now everything had tumbled out into the open and Kili had never felt so relieved.

o-o

Half a year later found Kili sitting in the living room at Thorin’s, trying desperately to read a book. He would scan the page and at the end realize that he hadn’t understood a single word.

“Fuck,” he swore putting the book aside and leaning forward on the couch, his knee jumping up and down in anticipation of the coming afternoon.

“Calm down, you can’t do this every time this happens,” Thorin said at the counter, taking a sip from his coffee. He kept putting the mug down and picking it back up again which meant that he was just as much as a nervous wreak as Kili.

“What if this time we’re wrong?” Kili asked.

“Ori was positive, we should trust his judgment.”

Kili sighed, he was going to voice his worries again when the door popped open and in stumbled Ori with Dwalin draped across his shoulder, hobbling in under the weight of the taller man. Ori looked happy though with a huge smile across his face.

“He remembered in the car,” he said happily.

Kili’s face split open in the widest grin.

“Nearly drove us off the road,” Bofur said walking in after them looking shaken.

“Well that’s everyone from the company then isn’t it?” Bombur said from the kitchen.

“Not everyone one,” Kili said as the rest of the company piled in the living room.

“What are you talking about lad?” Balin asked.

“Bilbo. We still need to find him,” Kili said. Fili, who had followed in after Bofur, came to stand by Kili. It should be mentioned that Bofur and Fili had moved into Kili’s old house and now the two were inseparable.

“And we’re not going to,” Thorin said, the whole room turned to look at him. “If Bilbo is in this world, I want you all to keep away from him.”

“Thorin, I thought-?” Balin questioned.

Thorin held up his hand. “We don’t need to drag him back with us. He had a long life after our adventure. We should let him have his peace.”

The whole room stopped and seemed to freeze. Bofur looked about ready to argue but he snapped his mouth closed and choose instead to help Ori lower Dwalin into a chair.

Fili put a hand on Kili’s shoulder and shook his head, silently telling him not to argue. Kili heaved a sigh and let it rest.

The next day Kili met Fili before his first class. They were sitting in the library studying, but all Kili could think about was finding Bilbo. They weren’t a complete company without him and the hole in his chest had yet to be completely filled. He thought it would after they had found his mother, but still it stayed open and weeping.  

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. Thorin said no,”  Fili said, sighing as he closed his book.

“But it’s not fair. Thorin may be okay with it, but we never got to say sorry. We died while he thought we were still mad at him.”

“Balin said that wasn’t true.”

“But WE NEVER TOLD HIM!” Kili yelled as quietly as he could. “He did so much for us and what did we do? We watched as uncle nearly threw him off a mountain without so much as lifting a finger.”

“Kili, we all did. We were all shocked by uncle's actions,” Fili said leaning over the table to calm his brother.

“Yes, but they got to tell him how sorry they were. They already made their peace. We didn’t!”

“Kili calm down, we can’t just –“ But Kili had stopped listening. Just outside the library, as though their talking had summoned him, was Bilbo. Taller, with shoes and a bit shorter hair, but it was him.

“Kili where are you going?” Fili called after Kili had thrown everything in his bag and raced out of the library. He couldn’t have gotten too far. He rushed around to the front of the building and just caught the edge of Bilbo’s coat before tailing after it. He followed Bilbo across campus before following in after him into one of the buildings.

Kili slipped into a chair towards the back, keeping an eye on Bilbo. He jumped when a hand landed on his arm.

“What in God's name do you think you’re doing?” Fili hissed.

“It’s Bilbo. I’m sure of it.”

“Kili you can’t just run after people thinking they’re—“ Fili looked hard at the man and then back down at Kili. “He does look like him.”

“See what I mean?” Kili said pointing at the man. At this point he had turned to glare at the two. The brothers inhaled and looked away.

“Yep, that’s him,” Fili said.

The two didn’t even pay attention to what was going on in the room. They changed seats and kept looking at Bilbo, trying to discern how to approach him.

As the presentation ended Fili dragged Kili out of the room.

“We need to say something!” Kili protested. Fili shook his head.

“Not here, you remember when Ori remembered. The last thing we need is for him to spaz out in the middle of campus,” Fili hissed in his ear. “We’ll follow him and hope the parking lot is empty.”

They slowly followed Bilbo down the street, having to change their course three times so he wouldn't notice them. It was just as Bilbo was leaving the campus when Kili couldn’t take it anymore. This was taking too long and his heart needed to know if this was indeed Bilbo or if this was a dead end.

“Bilbo!” he called out. Every “what if” he could possibly think of passed through his mind. Bilbo turned around and he couldn’t move. He was staring right at him and Kili saw something: recognition, fear, and uncertainty. Here stood the Hobbit that had willing chased after them in a snap decision. He saved their lives more times than he wanted to admit to, even when Thorin and the rest had stood lusting over the gold. Bilbo thought only for their safety and that of the Men and Elves.

He was moving and he just missed the feel of Fili’s fingers ghosting to catch the edge of his coat. Kili was faster and he slammed into Bilbo. Every fear, every feeling of emptiness he had ever felt washed away in that moment.

“I’m so _sorry_ ,” he chanted into Bilbo’s shoulder. The man’s body was taunt against him. He could feel hesitating hands on his back. “You should never have gone on our stupid adventure!” he choked in the crook of the man's neck.

“I-I’m sorry, do I know you?”

Kili pulled back to take one last look in the man's eyes. Whatever he had seen was gone.  “I’m – I’m sorry.”

“Kili,” Fili said somewhere behind him.

Kili gazed at the ground, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. This was Bilbo, he was sure of it. Maybe this was their punishment? That the company would come back but Bilbo would not be there for them. They had one chance and they lost it.

Not-Bilbo asked something but Kili hardly heard it. He grabbed Fili and pulled him aside.

“Kili, what did you think you were doing?” Fili hissed.

“Sorry, I didn’t think-”

“We can’t know for sure that it is him. He looks like him, but we don’t know anything about this man. Besides Thorin already told us that we’re not to look for him. We should drop it now and walk away.”

Kili pulled back and straightened his back. He pointed to not-Bilbo and said clearly, “It's him, I know it is!”

Not-Bilbo said something but Kili wasn’t listening. He leaned toward Fili. “Look, we should introduce ourselves. You know, the way we did at Bag End?”

“Kili that’s stupid,” Fili said shaking his head. He raised his eyebrows as his brother's face set in determination. Kili split into a wide grin and Fili looked him straight in the eye. “No Kili! That is not going to work.”

Kili didn’t listen, he gripped Fili and pulled him to stand in front of Bilbo.

Fili’s lips tightened but he looked straight at Bilbo. Kili smiled and the two placed their hands over their hearts.

“Fili.”

“And Kili.”

“At your service,” they said in unison while bowing.

Kili smile grew wider as Not-Bilbo shook his head and fell. Kili shouted and gave a punch to the air, turning to Fili, “I told you!”

Fili rushed to help Bilbo, checking his head to make sure he had no injuries.  “Kili, we’re going to have to tell Thorin about this.”

“No!” Kili said slipping off his jacket. “We’ll keep this hush-hush, you and me. We can persuade Thorin to see reason, and then when he relents we can bring Bilbo over.”

“You think it’s going to be that easy? He’s going to ask questions, if he remembers at all.”

“Of course he’s going to remember.”

“Kili,” Fili started. He took his brother jacket and bundled it up and pushed it under Bilbo’s head. “It’s not going to be that simple – look he’s waking up.”

o-o 

Kili sat at the table in Bilbo’s flat five bucks richer. 

“You’re brothers?” Not-Bilbo asked.

“Well - sort of,” Fili said giving a quick half smile to Kili. They shared a look before going back to their scones. Kili sighed. He’d figure Bilbo would have remembered by now.

‘’Adopted, half?”

Kili could feel Fili tense next to him. “It’s...complicated,” Fili said slowly. Kili’s eyebrows knitted together and he put a hand on Fili’s shoulder. He knew being part of a family still bothered his brother sometimes, like a big dream.

Bilbo cleared his throat, sensing the atmosphere. “What? Um...Kili, earlier you kept saying you were sorry. May I inquire why?”

Kili put down the food he was eating. He had been devastated that Bilbo had not remembered when he had woken up.  He couldn’t tell what was worse. Telling Bilbo why he was sorry, or having Bilbo remember why he needed to say sorry.

“Um that...” Kili sarted. “Well, you see-“

“It’s not important,” Fili intervened. Kili snapped his mouth shut and continued eating. Bilbo apologizes and the table suddenly felt more awkward than when it started.

“Have you met a man named Thor?” Fili asked, putting down his plate. Kili dropped the scone he was eating and jumped up to cover Fili’s mouth. He grabbed the blond by the shoulder and dragged him out of the room.

“We can’t tell him about Thorin!”

“Well why the fuck not, Kili? He’s going to find out one way or another,” Fili yelled and seemed to remember that Bilbo was in the next room and lowered his voice. “It’s bad enough we did find him after Thorin specifically said not to. We have to tell him.”

“Yes, but we should do it when he remembers at the least,” Kili spat back.

“Kili, Thorin is going to kill us.”

“I’m not leaving until he remembers and I can say my peace.”

“Is that what this is about? Kili you’re going to suffocate him. Balin already told us that Bilbo had made his peace. This is only going to rip him apart. When and _if_ he remembers.”

Kili’s eyes were prickling with tears. “He will remember. Everyone else did. I don’t want to remind him, I want him to know that we’re not the same as uncle. We would have listened to him.”

“Kili, this is crazy and stupid and I’m going home,” Fili spat. He strode past Kili and left the flat, grabbing his bag off the floor by the door.

Bilbo came around the corner just as Kili began to feel hot tears streaming down his face. He could feel his nails digging into his palm.

“Kili, lad, are you okay?” Bilbo asked. Kili wiped the tears from his eyes and turned around to look at Bilbo. The moment he looked the man in the eyes he saw every mistake he ever made. He could see half the company pulling away on the side of a mountain. He could see dragon-fire and death. His head snapped down; he couldn’t take it anymore. He looked at the door where Fili had left, debating whether he should do the same and never return, but that hurt more.

“CanIstayherewithyou?” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you?” Bilbo said gently.

“Can, can I stay here with you tonight?” Kili asked again, masking his emotions as best he could as he looked at Bilbo. He knew it was a long shot. _‘Hey I just met you and I’m some crazy kid that seems_ _to think you and I are connected, but can I stay at your house?'_

Now that he thought about it, Kili felt a flush rise up his cheeks at even thinking of asking.

“Uh, Kili I’m sorry – "

“No, I understand,” Kili interrupted. He rubbed the last of the tears out of his eyes and wearily moved towards the door.

“Wait,” Bilbo said behind him. Kili stopped but didn’t turn around. “You can stay.”

Kili turned around slowly.

“Are you-?”

“Don’t even finish that sentence, Kili, or I’ll revoke my offer,” Bilbo said. He looked worn out, and uneasiness fell over Kili.

Taking this as a good omen in a bout of optimism, Kili smiled wide. He knew Bilbo was close to remembering. Thorin could sink in his own ship; they needed Bilbo to be a proper company again. He knew for the oldest of the company Bilbo was only a small pin in their long lifetimes, save for himself and for Fili. He impacted them. He was their first and last known Hobbit and damnit if he was going to lose him. 

“Well, come on let's get back to that tea,” Bilbo said, indicating for Kili to follow.

That night Kili lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling fan do lazy rotations. He thought of the day he let the memories go through his mind: some painful and some happier. Bilbo had been kind and the more Kili thought on it, the more he realized how close Bilbo must be to remembering if he was willing to take in a random college student and let him crash on the couch.

Sitting up he pulled out his cell phone, wincing at the bright light and having to blink a few times before he could see the screen. The numbers 12:46 stared back at him. He flopped back down. He wasn’t going to get any sleep like this. Maybe it would be best if he did go home?

Kili sat up and folded the blankets and placed the pillow on top; if he was going to intrude on Bilbo’s life he may as well be neat about it. Shifting his weight he debated leaving a note or going in and waking Bilbo.  He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. He walked down the hall deciding he’d talk to Bilbo before he left. Leaving a note seemed impersonal.

As he slowly opened the door he saw that Bilbo was tossing and turning on the bed. His hand was clutched on the sheets and his face was tight and dour. Kili smiled - he looked more like the Hobbit Kili remembered now than he did before and Kili felt sure of himself again.

He stood there for a fleeting second before he decided to take a leap of faith. He walked over and dropped onto the bed. Bilbo stilled and Kili feared he was going to wake him but the ex-Hobbit just rolled over and snuggled down.

“See, much better,” he commented. He could see memories of huddled bodies searching for warmth, and a Hobbit too respectable to ask a family unit for an extra blanket.

Bilbo seemed to relax and Kili smiled. The quest seemed two lifetimes ago rather than one, and that year will stay with Kili for all the lives he will ever live. He lay next to Bilbo and didn’t bat an eye when Bilbo curled up into his side. Slowly, draped in the memories of campfire and the smell of pines, he fell asleep.

Kili woke to the Hobbit squirming in his sleep. Blinking the dust of sleep out of his eyes, he shifted and groaned when Bilbo smacked him in the arm. 

“Insufferable Dwarf. Move over!” Bilbo muttered in his sleep.

Kili was up and tense now. He stared bug-eyed at the man beside him. His face split into a wide and tears of joy and old pain clouded his eyes.

“What?” He asked. He took a deep shaky breath. “What did you say?”

“I said. Move over.” Bilbo snapped. Kili had never been so happy to hear that snarky remark. “Really Kili, you’re looking at me like I was an Orc.”

Kili threw himself at Bilbo, gripping the ex-Hobbit and allowing that empty space in his chest to fill. He had everyone now, everyone that ever mattered to him was back in his life and he felt complete. Tears spilled out of his eyes and he found he was shaking.

“You remember,” he chanted into Bilbo’s chest. He gripped him closer and as Bilbo began to say things over his head, he forgot everything except his need to make peace with the Hobbit who he had last seen dejected and rejected after everything he had done for them.

Somewhere he felt Bilbo rocking him and in his hysteria he felt distant. "I'm so sorry, uncle didn't mean it, it was the gold-sickness. We all felt so terrible about it. Then the battle; and then I found Fili; and you were still gone; and then you were there; but you weren't you, but I was sure you were you; I'm so _sorry_."

After he spilled everything out he felt his body shake with the last of his sobs. He pulled back to look at Bilbo to see if he if he could find any trace that this was a dream and he hadn’t just collapsed and now Not-Bilbo was going to scream at him and tell him to leave and not come back.

“My dear boy.”

Kili smiled and allowed himself to be pulled into Bilbo’s arms, humming and relaxing as the ex-Hobbit ran his fingers along his scalp. “We're okay, your uncle and I. Well, we made peace with each other before his passing.”

Kili pulled back and looked Bilbo searchingly with his eyes. Thorin had never said anything about that. All those little looks Balin and Thorin had shared now made sense whenever the Hobbit was brought up in discussions. 

Somewhere deep inside Kili felt a twinge of anger. Even Thorin had made his peace with Bilbo before he left Middle Earth; he and Fili had not. Gloin had told them of Bilbo in later years and said he seemed peaceful if not reserved in his old age. Had it ever wore on him that Kili and Fili had long since passed, not knowing whether he and his brother had felt remorse from the actions on the balcony? His mind plagued him with these questions and silent tears were once again falling down his face.

“Come on now, let's get some sleep and then you can fill me up on what I’ve missed, then we can find your brother. Hm?” Bilbo said smiling and laid back down as he pulled Kili with him. Kili hugged Bilbo closer; he felt safe here. It was a lull that he got used to on the road. Bilbo if anything felt like another uncle. He wasn’t strong but Kili felt at home in his arms. The way he did with his mother or Thorin.

Kili relaxed and wrapped his body around Bilbo as best as he could. His tears had now stopped but his nose had started running and he wiped if off the best he could on his sleeve.

Once the tears had dried and his nose had stopped flowing did Bilbo speak again. “Kili?”

“Hm,” Kili answered. He nuzzled into Bilbo’s arm every so often as he sniffled.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

Kili stilled and shook his head. He had long ago stopped using that name. Even his birth parents of this world had long since gotten used to calling him Kili.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad. You can tell me Fili’s too,” Bilbo bribed.

Kili chuckled lightly.

“His name's Kyle,” Fili said from the door. Kili jumped and had to hold onto Bilbo as the ex-Hobbit had nearly flung the both of them off the bed. His shoulders shook in silent mirth.

“Fili!” Bilbo shouted. Kili took a chance to look at Fili who looked a bit panicked.

“You, uh, you left the door unlocked and Kili didn’t come home and I got worried,” Fili said looking away. Kili stared at his brother. His heart warming that Fili was worried for him.

“Be that as it may, you knew you big oaf!” Bilbo snapped pulling his hand from Kili’s shoulder and clutching at his chest. Kili smiled and rubbed his nose into Bilbo’s shoulder.

“Yes Fili, I know everything. You can now kick off your shoes off and join us, Master Dwarf.”

Kili clutched harder to Bilbo. To hear those words meant that this was real and that was all Kili needed.

Kili felt the bed dip on the man's other side and he smirked into Bilbo’s shirt.

“Yes, well, that’s better,” Bilbo said exasperated.

Kili chortled. He felt Bilbo tug on his hair. “So, Kyle.”

“Shut up,” Kili sighed. He reached over Bilbo and lightly punched Fili. “Meet Philip.”

He felt Bilbo’s chest rumble as he chuckled and watched as Fili turned over so he was facing away from them.

“Good night, young princes,” Bilbo muttered and the hole in Kili’s chest closed up tight and he relaxed. This was right and nothing could break it.

o-o

 

“Fili! Kili! Where have you been?” Thorin called as the two passed through the open door the next morning. Kili turned to look at Fili and winced.

“Fili, Bofur has been worried sick after you performed your escape. You could have at least called!”

“We’re sorry,” they said in unison.

“We have a friend from the college,” started Fili, dipping his head.

“He was really upset, something about his classes and home life and we went over and talked all night,”  Kili finished, hoping Thorin bought it.

“You could have called. Or texted,” Thorin huffed, crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” Kili lied.

And again it did. Kili and Fili were over at Bilbo’s place all week. They were able to pass it off as staying at a friend’s house for a couple days, but soon Thorin began to get suspicious. Thinking of no other way around it, Kili knew he had to tell someone. It was at lunch that Fili thought up a solution.

“Look both of us can’t do this all the time. Talk to Balin, maybe you could get him to convince Thorin that you need to stay at his house. It’s closer to the campus and you do have that 7 o’clock class so you wouldn't technically be lying.”

Kili beamed at his brother. Fili smiled back and rolled his eyes.

Balin was jovial to learn that the brothers had found Bilbo and was all too happy to aid in their plan. Balin and Kili were able to convince Thorin to allow Kili to stay with his friend.

With Thorin off the trail, Kili was able to spend as much time with Bilbo as he wanted. Fili joined in but his older brother was kind enough to let Bilbo have his space. Kili worried: he worried that Bilbo would disappear if he closed his eyes and left him alone. That if he went away for even a day he would walk through Bilbo’s flat and find someone else living there. Kili worried that every time he saw Bilbo that it would be his last. It couldn’t go on like this.

It was Fili who decided that it was time that Bilbo should be integrated back into the company.

After weeks of planning it was finally time to start another adventure.

“Kili! I don’t know if we should do this,” Bilbo’s voice crackled over the speaker in Kili’s phone.

“Yes you can. We’ve gone over this,” Kili answered back. He was in the passenger seat in the car heading to Thorin’s to pick him up to go meet a “friend.”

Fili chuckled beside him.

“What if, what if they don’t want to see me?” Bilbo said quietly and Kili pursed his lips. He knew exactly who Bilbo was talking about.

“Bilbo, everyone will be happy to see you. Thorin too,” he said into the phone. “You’ll be fine, we’ll meet you there. We’re going to be there with uncle. Okay? Plus with more of us out there looking for Frodo, we might actually find him,” he said. At first there was no response and Kili almost dared to think Bilbo had hung up on him.

At long last he heard a sigh in the phone. “Okay.”

The phone clicked and Kili gave a small chuckle.

“How are you not worried? This could end badly, you know?” Fili asked as they pulled into the driveway.

“I don’t know. I just don’t feel like this could go wrong,” Kili answered honestly. He felt nothing but happiness and maybe a little trepidation in his vision of this meeting.

Thorin was waiting for them and Kili got out of the front seat to slide into the back. With a click of the door they were off again. Thorin stayed silent most of the ride; he made idle conversation about Fili’s graduation, but seemed more bored about this event.

As they neared Bilbo’s door, suddenly every bad notion hit Kili and he suddenly felt like grabbing Thorin and Fili and run for it.

“So who is this friend of yours?” Thorin asked as he knocked on the door. He was looking out at the neighbor's house. Potted plants and thrift shop art pieces lined the walls. It didn’t give off the vibe of a friend of anyone of the company's.

The door opened and Bilbo stood on the other side. He looked a bit ruffled but Kili didn’t look at him for long. He kept his gaze on Thorin, watching and waiting for the reaction that was sure to follow.

Thorin gave him a quick look that read _'we’ll talk later'_ , but returned it to Bilbo just as quickly.

“Hello,” Bilbo greeted.

Thorin opened his mouth and then closed it again. His fists kept clenching and unclenching and Kili realized that this was going nowhere quickly. He jumped in front of Thorin, followed by Fili to pull Bilbo aside into a half hug. “What uncle is trying to say is: ‘it’s good to see you’,” Kili said, narrowing his eyes at Thorin.  

Thorin’s face softened and Kili withdrew, then protested when Fili pulled him further into the flat.

“We need to give them space,” Fili hissed in his ear. Kili frowned, still trying to get a look at Bilbo, worried that Thorin would say something stupid and ruin the whole meeting.  He didn’t seem to be the only one. By the time the two brothers had gotten to the kitchen, half the company was out in the hallway trying to get a look at their ex-king and ex-burglar.

Balin caught Kili’s eye and gave him a wink and a smile.

When Thoirn pulled Bilbo into a hug the whole room erupted. Kili puffed out his chest and beamed. He had been right; this had gone well. He watched as BillUnderhill, or better known at Bilbo, turned around and motioned Thorin into the kitchen, unshed tears in his eyes.

They had their road bumps, and things were never going to be the same that they were. Yet Kili felt that for now and for always, things were going to be just fine. That as long as this company was together, they could do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh My Mahal I forgot to acknowledge my best Beta Kaze for working with me!!!


End file.
